Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Well today i skipped morning class cause i had a damn bad dream about something...
And well Idk what to say... It's somehow true alright...
After things that happened especially yesterday, i guess i finally learn that i have to let go...
And i am starting to i guess... This morning waking up feeling my heart became lighter, makes me feel better... It totally felt like when i left her the last time and my heart feel so light... Now's its almost the same, but not as light... But slowly and surely, Things will feel better i guess...
You can choose to hate me or not belive/have faith in me, but i choose to belive that sometimes things are really that coincidental... Since none of my reasons are valid or something which you will belive, I really do have nth to say... Belive it or not, whenever anyone say things about you, i always belive strongly that it is strongly coincidental and i will reason out with them if you do not belive, go ask anyone and really anyone if i ever once never did reason out with them why things happened... Because i have the faith in you... Now since that it is proven that you have no longer have any faith/trust in me and including so little love left, It is rather no point to continue anything... My heart has been set and my mind has been made... Well things are really gonna be though, but life still has to go on...
Sorry for whatever wrong that i've done or ruined especially to your friendship with others and the bond you had with your family.. I cant turn back time for you, but i can disappear from you... There really isnt much left that i could do... Because i really did everything for a reason...
I know that you will not belive in me but i really did everything for a reason... Once was more than enough to make so much changes... Now i know why sometimes people say you may never get a second chance... I admit that i once really gave up on you because of many reasons and you do know why... But after that strong determination and love you had for me, things changed and i change myself completely... It was a total wrong mistake to change cause now i know you like the old me... I really did try to change for the better... After each time we fought, i would think to myself how could i make this never to happen again... Thats why i am constantly changing whenever something happens...
Life will never be the same, But somethings still can be treasured...
As i've been saying,
"It's NO SURPRISE I won't be here tomorrow, I can't believe that I stayed till today"
So this time, it may be true that i will be gone and move on... Whatever it is, i dont wish to fear it anymore... If that dream is really meant to happen, no matter how much i try to avoide it, it will still happen.. Because the only way for it not to happen is for us to fight everything together...
Anyway, after such a long time, today during class i feel like so much things changed... I feel like i am able to not think of her so much anymore... i guess it's because it has actually come to a point where i have to let go... Goodbye is all i can say and Take good care of yourself...
For the past 1 week i guess, my body tempreture has been rather low... I dropped by 1.0 it was originally 37.0-37.4 But now it's like around 36.0-3.63? But mostly 36.0... I dont know if my body has become weaker or not but i think it has.. Anyway, Sch work sucks quite bad... Lots or project and work to do... Idk how am i going to complete it, but i have to... So yeah... i'm off the climb stairs and go running... So yeah Goodbye all...
I hate people who ignores my msg or msg me half way and died...
5:17 PM
goodbye...