Stomach ache! )):
I'm gonna have a nice hot bath and i shall go sleep soon... ((:
And guess what?!?!
THERE IS NO F**KING EXAM TMR!!!! It's only some "TEST" to test my online account and play around online!!! F*CK! Scare me and the whole class sia.. Fk! Hahaha...
But the shity thing is that friday is my ADP 1st semester final project start date!!!!!!
Oh no! *Big headache*
The toilets calling for me to let go my bomb... Goodbye guys! ((:
See ya'll around...
Stupid sch ends at 5pm tmr cause of the "test"...

I'm feeling very very cold... I think tonight might have another attack...
Last night already having some problems... I'm going to turn in early tonight...
I had a long day already...
Tomorrow i need to find somewhere to study... Either that at most i'll go home to study...
Wednesday is my exam... I am so screwed... Will anyone help me? Oh well... Guess not...
I really hope to do well or at least pass with a B for my this exam... )): I've been trying so hard and fighting so hard for everything... I really hope for the best from now on for my studies..
Goodbye...

Well, i'm happy that finally we've got things sorted out...
Now girl, go and be free like a butterfly...
Fly without worries and live life like there's never a next...
Cry like a baby and roar like a lion...
Go and be happy for now you are free...

Let go your worries and go be your girly
For you never know when things might come to an end,
so play while you can and fly as far as you can...

Sometimes i really wonder why must all these happen... Why!
Haix... i don't want anymore things already... Time and time again never, and i say never did i see a ______...
I've been thinking a lot about it and gave it a big thought...
I've gotten my answer and all i can say is i hope for the best...
Goodbye...

I just wanna forget it all but i cant!
I wanna hate but i cant!
Life is just so unpredictable... if you get what i mean...
I hate it all... Goodbye world... Life sucks...

I waited so long trying my best to do things to keep me occupied... but never did i expect to get it 3 days in a row... I'm having fever and a very bad headache but i waited... I'm giving up and gonna rest now... Goodnight... God bless

I got very bad headache for the whole day! I dont know what to do... )):
i hope someone can help me! Goodnight! i shall sleep early tonight again... my eyebags are super heavy...

All i can say is life isn't easy and at the same time, i'm trying my best alright...
I feel like giving up and letting go of something... But i don't know...
God please help...
I am very very tired and worn out... Each night i would turn in to bed dead tired and worn out...
Especially weekdays i find it really tough to wake up for sch even though i only have to wake up at 7.30am every morning... I need a huge recharge... And old problem maybe back and thats my leg injury... I felt that pain today after so long... I hope it's just for a short period of time...
Now lets blog about today k?
Morning emman woke me up at 7.40am Thanks, Than went to shower and out of my house at 8.30am... Met him on the bus and left for sch tgt... Today can say was the most productive or work done since this term start? 1st lesson, managed to complete my 3rd assignment which took me like 2weeks to do?!? Than was break was slacking... Than was drawing lesson... Managed to draw quite abit than played((: Yeah! ((: Than also after sch today i came home straight after buying dinner... It has been so long since i'm back home for dinner and spend some time at home with some of my family members and not just come home to sleep... I am very very tired... it's 9.02pm now... I guess tonight i'll sleep about 10-10.45pm? ((:

You not happy i not happy
You bad mood i bad mood
I pissed you also pissed
I dont know what else la...
I dont know what else to do...
Fk the one way thing la... Till now i cant even figure out what the hell is it! You dont even seem like you care la... even if you ask also like cant be bothered like that... i dont know what else to do or what do you want...
Each day my mind is running more wild...
And soon i'll have enough of it... Please just do something about it before it's too late k? (If you want)
My day was bad and so was sch... But only one thing i like and thats the food...

I really don't want anymore things...
Just go... and so be it...
if i can, i would cause i wouldn't wanna be here...
It's really not easy and worth it... But why the hell am i still here?
Cause i just cant ..............!!!
i hate ******! Goodbye...
Everything's just gonna be the same again...

I dont know what to do... To just push everything away or just take whatever that comes my way...
I dont want to regret anything... And i'm having enough of almost everything... My temper's running short and i dont want to shout or fight with anyone... My mind has been filled with so many stuff that sometimes i just wanna forget it all... why must all these happen? my life was great and there was always things to look forward to through each day... But now i wouldnt even wanna know what might be happening next... Cause just when i wanna do something, something will happen and i'll just change my mind again... I really hate it!
Whoever that has been ignoring my smses, i hate you
Whoever that has been selfish, i hate you!
Whoever that has been adding stress to me, I Hate you!
Whoever that has been irritating me, I Hate You!
Whoever that has been fk-ing unfair to me, I HATE You!
Whoever that has not been considering my feelings, I HATE YOU!!!
I dont wanna do anymore things!!!!!!!!!!

All i want is for you people to make up your mind!
WHATEVER IT IS! Decide Yourself! Dont tell me Dont know OR WHATEVER!
Now, I HAVE ENOUGH! Next time anyone tell me Dont know, I WILL FKING BOIL!!!
If you dont like anyone saying "Dont Know" to you when you ask a question, THAN STOP DOING THAT TO ME!

I only have 1 night to try relax as much as i can...
I have to by hook or by crook, gotta do finish my assignments tmr...
I really hope i can... It's not just hope, but MUST!
I don't know how am i going to do it with so much stress and headache...
I really wish to drop everything behind and just pick up whatever i have to and just continue my journey... Everything's just adding on... And it's only just the beginning of some/most things... I don't know how am i going to last but i know there's somethings that gotta be done and over with now!
blabbered some of my stress out to michelle last night... I don't really know what i was blabbering, But it was something alright... And also, Thank you emman for like company-ing me through the whole day, Maybe i company you but ya... At least there was company... And also, Thank you susu for playing cards with me for awhile... It made me better((: Funny how you shoot cards... And also, Thank susu's mum for talking about the kampong days... It made me burst out in laughter... Hahaha... ((:
Lastly, Thank you everyone who has been there for me all these while... ((:
Anw, This morning woke up and went to have breakfast with my dad and small bro... Than came home and slept again... Stupid stress and headache! Now, i'm gonna try play a new game to try destress! ((:

Today sch was boring i guess... I learn nth at all... This is what happened...
Morning woke up late again, but still went to sch... Managed to get attendance for 1st lesson...
Than sit down at canteen for about 1hr 40mins? WTF right? Than next lesson, was drawing... I didnt draw at all? LOL! Tmr go sch only from 9-11.45am? And it's drawing lesson also... Idk what am i going to do after that also... Oh well... Anw, now i'm just waiting for my dinner to come back only... And well, Life has been full of ups and downs thats all i am going to say...

Just got back not long ago...
I'm so tired... Really tired of so many things...
Well, at least today was okay i guess...
tmr got so many things not confirm... i dont know what to do or which to choose...
Argh!
I hope things get better soon... I have enough of so many things...
maybe it's my turn to show my ****-ing temper since i never did it before...
So many of you have just been throwing your temper and i had almost enough...
I really have enough of so many things...
I'm so frustrated that i wanna just shout at those to give me those problems!
I am so tired of waiting for this or that... I'm so tired of falling sick... I'm so tired of helping others and they never seems to appreciate it and even give me attitude for it... I'm so tired of praying so hard for so many things to work out and be safe so that everyone can be happy... I'm so tired of sleeping each night having to dream about the same person every night cause things cant work out! I'm so tired to even bother to do anything or even eat! I'm so tired of all your fucking excuses you gave for the many wrong things you did! I'm so tired of fighting each day to find myself making no progress but sometimes even worst! I'm so tired of exercising anymore! I'm so tired of facebook, tv, radio, sms-ing, talking on phone and EVERYTHING!!!!!! FUCK UH!
i'm so tired i just wanna sleep and never dream of anything anymore and there's no need to wake up anymore... Haix... But i cant... cause i know in this world, my mum still needs me... She's the only person that love me now i guess?
Today for the 1st time after dunno how many years, she asked me out for lunch with her...
And shockingly, today she was so different towards me since the moment she woke up!
She said good morning and all sia... Than went to have lunch with her at RVM at around 2pm? Came back about 3pm... We had macs btw... ((: Haha! I had Mac spicy meal upsize drinks change to milo less ice! ((: SHIOK! ((:
Well mum, i know i've never said this to you before, but you do know that I love you right? ((:
Thanks for bringing my into this world and giving me all the support and love and care and concern whenever i fail in my studies, feel lonely, fell sick, especially when i had high fever for one whole week when i was in pri sch, you hardly slept and you stayed by my side and come to change the towel on my forehead every few hrs even though you were so tired... Thanks mum... ((: You are someone that will never push me away i guess... Just that you get a little too annoying sometimes... ((: Haha... Goodbye world! ((:

I DONT WANT I DONT WANT I DONT WANT!!!
Please dont take her away from me God...
I dont know why of all time must you hit me with this now... Haix...
Please God... Give me more time? I will try and pray more often k? just please dont take her away from me so fast... i will collapsed and lose everything if i lose her...
Stop taking all these away from me!!! I HATE IT!
I cant say anything i really cant... i need time... i really need it please...
This really just sucks k... and worst i cant do anything much now but try my best to prepare myself... I will try my best to always remember to treasure you each and everyday that you're still here with me by my side... I will keep praying...

i dont know why, but I miss you...
And there's so many things to tell you but i just cant cause it's not right...
haix...

I had a really tough night last night...
3nights in a row le... (Just this time it's abit different...)
I just hope things can calm down soon...
I wanna put a bomb on my chest and explode it... Cause thats how tight it feels!
I find it very tough to just continue what i'm doing now... I keep falling sick on and off...
One moment my body temperature can be hot and i can feel myself breathing out hot air...
The next moment is i can be damn cold... So cold that my hand can just change to like it's ice cold...
There's so many more... I dont want to say anymore... I just need a break from all these... Give me what i need, and all i need is time and fun... AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do ask me out if you want to or feel like... no matter who... As long as it's nth stressing can le... Go play, makan or whatever... I just dont want to stay at home so often for the time being...
Sch's starting next week and i have a feeling that things will no longer be how it used to be anymore with my outside life... My chest is super tight and i have enough of blogging... I just wanna get out...

I dont know whats wrong...
But i'm trying...
But without anything, i cant do anything...
So if you do need help, i hope you do let me know at least something...
Cause you cant always expect me to predict things right?

3May 20094
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